


Taste

by tiedyeflag



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: 505 mentioned, Cuddles, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Paperhat - Freeform, black hat trying to hide his feelz for flug, drunken kisses, sex mention, the closest i'll ever get to sinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: Black Hat celebrates the high sales from his latest invention with food and drinks. He's in such a good mood, he invites his minions to join in. Then he challenges Flug to engage with the activities to see him as a idiotic mess, but his plan backfires.





	Taste

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a comic by supermuuh and another comic by chocolatezombie-nasti, both on tumblr! Enjoy ;)

Black Hat adjusted his black tie while standing in front of the closed doors to the dining room. Normally he wore a scowl, but tonight a grin stretched across his face. He shoved the doors open with a dramatic heave, teeth gleaming in venomous saliva. Inside the dining room, sitting at the table, were Flug, Demencia, and 505. Flug flinched at Black Hat’s entrance while the other two raised their heads. 

“My minions…” Black Hat began, “I am sure you are all wondering why I’ve called you here.”

“Duh!” Demencia jumped from her seat excitedly. “But judging by the look on your face, it’s probably good!”

Black Hat’s smile grew impossibly wider, and scarier. “You would be correct for once, Demencia.”

“Ooooh, what is it? Didja catch a hero to beat up?”

“No.”

“Didja steal something big and super cool for us?”

“No.”

“Didja buy new sexy underwe--”

“DEMENCIA!!” roared Black Hat. His face contorted to multiple mouths and inky black eyes. Once she plopped back down in her seat, he sighed, and his features returned to normal. “As I was saying…”

He paused, then let a low chuckle slip past his lips. “The sales for our latest product, the Tasmanian Death Grip Gloves, have been a maliciously diabolical success!”

Demencia leapt from her seat with a loud whoop while Flug’s eyes glittered at the news of one of his inventions’ success. Even 505 clapped his big blue paws in joy.

“Yes, this is truly a devilish day for BlackHatInc.! Profits are so high, they’ve put me in a particularly evil mood tonight…” He lowered his head, casting a shadow over his face.

“Are we gonna celebrate by robbing the bank?” asked Demencia.

Black Hat scoffed, “Please, Demencia, we are villains, not savages. No, instead,” He snapped his fingers, releasing bright green sparks into the air. The curtains shriveled up and grew back as silken party streamers. The candles on the chandeliers went out with a poof, only to relight with eerie yet energetic green lights. And the tablecloth folded into itself, shuffled as if alive, then unfurled, setting the table full of monstrous food and bottles of wine with golden labels.

“Tonight, we celebrate like villains! I’m normally not one for dining, but tonight, we shall feast like kings!!”

“Yeahhhhh!!” Demencia cheered, punching the air. “We’ll drink ‘till morning!”

“Count me out,” Flug said while pushing out of his chair.

“I beg your pardon, doctor?” Black Hat glared at Flug. 

“You think I’m socially awkward on camera  _ and _ in real life? When I drink, I get worse.”

“Aw, c’mon, Fluggy!” Demencia slung her arms around Flug’s neck in a headlock. “Join the fun! You’re always complaining you never get time off, right?”

“Shhh! Not in front of boss--!”

Black Hat leaned over and poked out his serpentine tongue. “What wasss that?”

“N--Nothing, sir!” 

Demencia spat. “Flugbug doesn’t wanna join in on the party!”

Black Hat quirked his head. Humans were so fragile, and so susceptible to outside forces, including alcohol--one of their own creations! He could only wonder what it could do to his dear little doctor…

He mentally slapped himself; no, just his little doctor. Not dear. He was not dear to him. Not at all. Seeing him as a drunken mess would only solidify his distaste for Flug.

“I have a proposition for you, Flug.”

“Y--Yes, sir…?” 

“If you drink an entire bottle of alcohol, then I’ll consider giving you some...time off,” He finished with a mischievous smile.

Flug’s eyes lit up like Christmas lights as he freed himself from Demencia’s strong grip. “R--Really?”

“Go for it, Fluggy! I’ll get the tequila!!” She dashed out of the room. 

Flug clasped his hands together and said, “Th--Thank you, sir!”

“Oh, please, I said I’d  _ consider _ it,” However, despite his words, Black Hat chuckled again, tapping his fingertips together. Oh, he couldn’t wait to see the results of his devious plan.

* * *

 

Several hours later, Black Hat was carrying a drunken, sleeping Demencia back to her room. She drooled on his vest, murmuring jumples of sounds that could almost be words. Black Hat rolled his eyes; she was not a pretty sleeper. Though deep down, he respected that, and tucked her into her bed the best he could. Bile rose up his throat at the action, but he swallowed it down and left the room as silently as shadows. Normally the bear would be doing this, but 505 was fast asleep in his bed, probably drunk. Black Hat wasn’t sure, but he couldn’t wake him no matter how loud he screeched. So it was up to Black Hat to put his minions to bed; couldn’t have his somewhat useful minions falling ill by sleeping on the floor like Demencia was when he found her.

However, he didn’t see Flug passed out anywhere; or see him at all, for that matter. Black Hat speculated that perhaps Flug was puking up his guts from the drink. If he hurried and found him, Black Hat could hurl a few extra insults at Flug before he too, passed out. Black Hat laughed at the idea--how dastardly genius!--his voice bouncing off the walls and down the halls.

“S-- _ hic _ \--Sir…?” came a voice.

Black Hat turned around. He saw the familiar silhouette of Flug leaning against a wall. Even in the dark, Black Hat’s keen eyes could see Flug’s disheveled lab coat and wrinkled paper bag sitting crooked on his head. It was just far enough to reveal Flug’s chin and mouth, and show a lazy smile.

“On your way to vomit your entire stomach, Flug?” said Black Hat. “Be careful you don’t cough up your brain--that’s the only valuable part of your pathetic self! Ahahaha!”

To Black Hat’s surprise, Flug chuckled back, “Wha’ are you talkin’ about? I can hold my drink-- _ hic _ \--just fine.” He walked closer. “Wha’ about you? Wha’ are you doin’ here?”

“...Nothing,” muttered Black Hat. He’d never seen Flug in such a relaxed, confident state, and something about his closing proximity made his flesh blob of a heart beat a hair faster.

“That’s good!” Flug stepped closer. His feet tripped over an imaginary bump, and he stumbled forward. He crashed into Black Hat’s chest, sending them both falling to the ground with an ungraceful thud.

Black Hat grunted, trying to ignore the ache in the back of his head. Meanwhile, he saw Flug slide up his body and sit atop his body, straddling his hips.

To fight the rising heat in his cheeks, Black Hat snarled, “Get off me, you idiot!”

Flug just giggled. “Y’know, I’ve always been really curious--hic--on what you taste like.”

“What are y--”

A pair of chapped, cracked lips locked against Black Hat’s before he could finish. Drool dripped from the corner of Flug’s mouth as his breath came out in short puffs from his nose. And his tongue--that wiggly, slimy thing--shoved past Black Hat’s lips and slithered about his mouth, exploring.

Such a disgusting human habit, thought Black Hat. The urge to press mouths together and exchange saliva amongst other things.

But it felt  _ wonderful _ , thought Black Hat. So warm and soft and  _ delicious... _

Before he could shut his eyes and return the kiss, Flug was pulling away, leaving a delicate thread of saliva between their lips.

“You...taste kinda sweet!” Flug slurred. “I like it~”

Black Hat didn’t fight the flush on his cheeks this time, staring at Flug with wide eyes.

Flug leaned closer and licked his lips. “I’d love to taste some more-- _ hic.” _

Black Hat’s face felt odd now; it wanted to grow hotter yet drain all the color from his cheeks at the same time. He didn’t know if the flipping of his stomach was good or bad or just food poisoning--even though he knew he was immune to such measly human illnesses.

“Flug,”

“Yeah?”

“We...We shouldn’t do this here. On the floor.” Black Hat pushed Flug off, then got to his feet. He turned and crouched, hooking his arms around Flug’s legs and hoisting him on his back.

“Whee--eee! Piggyback ride!” sung Flug. He flung his arms around Black Hat’s neck as he was carried down the hall. “Wait--hic--Black Hat?”

“Yes?”

“Where are we goin’?”

“Your room, obviously.”

Flug whined, “Noooo _ \--hic-- _ Don’t go there. We’d be so cramped on my bed. It’s jus’ _ \--hic-- _ a twin.”

“W--What are you talking about?” Black Hat mentally cursed himself for stuttering. Oh god, may satan forgive him!

“Oh, don’t play  _ stupid, _ jefecito,” Flug hummed. “You know exactly what I’m talkin’ about. Can’t you see?” He hiccuped, and gave a drunken chuckle. “You’re evil and handsome and I’m drunk and innocent.”

Why did Flug have to call him by that nickname? And why did he have to call him  _ evil? _ And  _ handsome? _ In the span of five seconds??

It gave Black Hat’s feet a mind of their own, changing their course from Flug’s bedroom to Black Hat’s private quarters.

* * *

 

Flug was lying back on an extravagant bed with silken sheets of crimson and ebony. Towering above him was Black Hat, hands splayed out on either side of Flug’s head. The scientist looked up with a bubbly smile and half lidded eyes, while Black Hat wore an uncharacteristically sheepish expression across his face.

“F--Flug…”

_ “Hic-- _ Yessir?”

“I...I’m not sure you’ve noticed by now, but…” He bit his lip. “I don’t really know anything about... _ these _ things.”

The fog of alcohol briefly left his eyes. “Wha...Oh. Ohhhhh! You mean...you’re a  _ virgin?” _

Black Hat sighed. “Yes, I am.”

One of Flug’s hands brushed against the side of his face, cupping his cheek, while the other drifted down his chest. “That’s actually great!”

Black Hat arched his eyebrows. Suddenly, Flug’s hands gripped his shoulders and gently yet firmly pushed him aside. He rolled over, and Flug crawled atop him, straddling his lap.

“I’d love to be your first, Jefecito.”

That softly slurred phrase from a human holding Black Hat like he was precious, that made him feel softer than 505’s fur after a bath…

Blushing as blue as a blueberry, Black Hat gulped down a ‘Hell yes,’ and instead replied by nodding his head.

Flug beamed, and collapsed into Black Hat’s chest, nuzzling his neck. Meanwhile Black Hat hugged Flug closer and breathed in his scent; of paper and cotton and hand sanitizer, all layered under tequila. His body radiated warmth, sending pleasant chills down Black Hat’s spine.

He was so engrossed in taking in every detail of Flug’s being that he failed to notice that Flug wasn’t moving. Confused, Black Hat raised his head to find Flug’s eyes closed, his breathing steady, and soft snores slipping past his rosy lips.

_ “Are you freaking kidding me?” _ hissed Black Hat through gritted teeth. But then he remembered how alcohol can affect humans; make them clumsy, foolish, and sleepy to the point of passing out. And come to think of it, wasn’t engaging in sexual acts while at least one party was drunk considered sexual assault…? Black Hat was a monster, a villain, but not a sex offender. He’d rather steal money than steal virginities. 

Besides...Flug weight was already settled against him, warm and heavy, like an old quilt. Comforting, but more adorable.

With a snap of his fingers, Black Hat summoned the blankets to rise and cover both of them in bed. He laid his head against a feather filled pillow while cradling Flug in his arms. Shutting his eyes, he inhaled deeply, then relaxed, drifting into the most peaceful slumber in centuries.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by things here and there I see on tumblr. I was actually considering going down the smut path with this one...BUT I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT. I'm sorry readers, I'm a fluff writer, not a smut writer. Don't got a single smut bone in me body :p


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